Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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