those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
