Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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