Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
