you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
