It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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