dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
