based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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