I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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