Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
