if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
