So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
