do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
