I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
