so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
