Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
