You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
