i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
