they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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