she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
