If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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