she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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