Define "chronic" masturbator.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
