Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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