he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
