its not stalking. its research.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
