i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
