Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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