The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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