im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
