Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I came so hard my ears popped.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
