As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
