I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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