ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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