why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
