UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
