1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My feet surprised me
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
