happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
