you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
