i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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