i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
