just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
