Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
