redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's never too late to be topless.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
