No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
