We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
