doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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