We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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