that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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