I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
