I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
